We sobbed deeply as we watched a video portraying Christ’s death on the cross.
My grandmother, mother, and two sisters each sat in over-sized chairs and watched as this man beaten, torn, stabbed, cut, nailed to wood, and tortured to death.

Walking out of that theater we were each quiet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My Jesus who I loved deeply from a young age was murdered.
Seeing all that precious blood spilled out became painful to watch.

His death became more real that day.
I realized it was more than the Sunday school songs saying, ‘Jesus loves me, this I know’ and the felt-board stories.
(Though I’m thankful for those)

 God did something drastic that altered where i’d spend eternity.

That you would look at me, seeing my sins and say I choose her,
and I will pay for her to be in my family with my son’s life.

When I was a wee thing, I asked Jesus to come into my heart.
Over the last two decades I can’t get away from him.
He won’t let me go.
When I struggled in sin, refused to obey him, when I felt lost without my family close by, his grip tightened.
It was as though he gently cupped my face and said,
‘Daughter, keep your eyes on me’

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tonight I made a warm cup of tea and as I was reflecting over the great things He has done this last week I saw this out of the corner of my eye:

The last few weeks were spent deep in scripture, a lot of prayer, worship music playing, and as a student to a handful of preacher’s sermons.

I realized how in this time spent together he is setting me free.
He is breaking any hardness and I’m turned to mush over his love.
It’s growing in knowledge of him which sets me free.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sometimes I pray for specific eyes to read these posts.  That someone would come to accept they are loved fiercely.

I don’t mind putting together fun posts about songs for a deployment, thoughts on marriage, or sharing a happy home devotional.
But I know they won’t save anyone.

 They tell a nice story of a girl who is finding strength through Christ but none of this is worth your time if I don’t tell you how to come to this source of joy, strength, and hope.
Less of me and more of him is what you really need.

If you don’t know where to start, I’ll gently nudge you to the most sacred place.
Knees to the ground, head bowed, with a question lifted to God’s ears alone,

“Will you come to my rescue..be in my heart?
I am a sinner in need of your grace”

For a long time I lived life without grace for the margins in life.  I saw issues as either black or white but I want you to know,
It’s not about dressing a certain way, using certain phrases, or lifting your hands at the right moments in a song.
It’s about you and Jesus sharing a bonded relationship like no other.

It’s about a Savior that looks at you and sees beauty. For you are his handiwork.
The gifts knitted into your make-up were his design.

You were no accident dear one.
I don’t know your story, the state of your home, marriage, or whether you’re feeling completely alone.  But I know God cares about the details of your life.

You and I are on a long journey as born-sinners learning how to live right by God.
It’s not easy but I hope through what is shared at this website God would be glorified and you would be encouraged each time you visit.

I’m so thankful you are along on this journey!

Until next time,