‘Oh yeah, I trust God!’
Often I believe this to be true but I realized this really isn’t the case. I do everything but trust Him.
I chat with friends over issues. I think endlessly about problems. I feel sick over things even. I tend to be anxious over almost anything.
It’s kind of funny how the events played out but I knew there was a particular area that was eating me up and stealing every last ounce of peace and joy left in me. I could hear people telling me to relax or knock it off but I just couldn’t get a grip.
A lot of it was with issues that personally affected me but also on a grander scale in our world and country too. It seemed like everything was coming apart at the seams. Everything I read or talked about with others were problems with this or that. I just wanted those conversations to lead me to a place of peace again or some solid ground. Do you ever experience that and all you can do is panic?
When our perspective changes for the worse it can be hard to gain our footing. There are serious blows that knock us down and change how we see.
So I prayed about it and continued to confess, that I was acting a little nutty {and bitter}, before an amazingly patient God.
I won’t spill every detail of the unfolding but I stopped spending my time reading about every issue to impact our churches, and every opinion about how to raise a child, or the play by play of the latest tragedy. Instead I leaned into the presence of God.
There was a definite change in my heart from panic to peace.
The greatest gift ever received in my life was accepting Jesus Christ and how He came to live and die for us. It has changed my life greatly and in his dying He set me free from a lot of junk. I hate when I allow situations in my life to cause me to go into such great anxiety that I end up looking foolish.
So I preach at myself in the moments I feel my freedom threatened.
God is over everything and ultimately in control. Nothing has slipped past Him that He is unaware of.
There is a balance to be found between being aware of the issues in life, church, family, and friends without letting it consume me. I believe it’s like the Bible says…
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
That’s where I’ve started at least and I’m thankful for a lighter heart because it has given me room to laugh and smile again.. A LOT. But even deeper is this calm that has washed over me and I know that this is what trusting God really looks like.
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In other news I started decorating for Christmas! Last year I had actually decorated two weeks before this! The fact that some of you are still around to read what I write amazes me. See, I am really loved! But this year was different and I waited to enjoy our fall home a little longer. I am excited that the Christmas decorations are being put out though.
There will be a Christmas Home Tour in December but I will share this one photo with you! My mom actually made that pillow and I can’t get over how talented she is!
I also watched some Christmas Hallmark movies last night and even though some of them are a little goofy I still love them! In the comments you’ll have to let me know you’re absolute favorite movie this time of year.
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How have you been? We haven’t connected in this place for a while!
I am trying to decide how to go about this blog in the future. As life changes so does the things we’re able to spend our time on but I think if i’m creative and organized I can still make this work because I love it so much.
Until next time!
Laura
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