Used with permission from Two Willows Photography

I used to believe that the amount of children we would have was up to Darren and I.  While sitting across from him i’d ask how many children he’d like to have and his typical response over the years was four.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I shared over the phone with someone close how I wasn’t ready to be a mom again.  It bothered me that after only one I was worn out and had this deep fear that I could not be enough for another child or one after that.

Then we weren’t pregnant when I thought we should be and I was on the other side of fear.  What if we aren’t able to have more than one? I prayed a lot asking God to keep me sensitive to the lessons I could learn through this.

While sharing with a friend about this particular struggle she told me about how she came to understand how we aren’t in control when it comes to having a baby.  That conversation met me where I was and let me rest in the knowledge that God has a plan.
I appreciated Garrett for the absolute gift he is to our family.  Over the last two years I’ve been able to pave a way as a first time mother and I needed this time as a mother of only one.

Fear leads us down a path we weren’t intended to go down.  Where would I be without the gentle words of my savior;

 Isaiah 41:10 
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This Sunday is Mother’s Day and I have raked in all the encouraging articles, blog posts, and letters about the special role of a mother.  I need the reminder in either written or spoken words how valuable and irreplaceable a mother is.

The day in and day out role of mom doesn’t bring a lot of  gratification.  There is rarely a pat on the back, or someone to congratulate you for the accomplishment of making another meal, or wiping another dirty bum.  Not that we fish for compliments but our work can go unnoticed leaving us feeling insignificant.  That is why I love to be told how special a mom is to her children.
So I wonder if we know our impact years later when children are grown?  Is it the moment that teenage boy hugs his mom and says, ‘Thank you for all that you do mom!’ or when our stubborn one slips us a hug before catching the bus?

For today i’m thanking God for my boy.  I’m treasuring that he is here, alive and well.

I could stay and write more but I have a house in need of a good cleaning before friends gather here for an evening of dessert and conversation! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Until next time,

Laura