I’m not sure how long I have to write before that little boy of mine wakes up.  He is growing so big and I’m making the most of these days with him!

 

 

How is it that you blink and they fill a basket?

 

 

Yesterday I stood on the linoleum kitchen (pretend wood) floor and talked to my husband.  He spoke life-giving words, you know the ones that give you permission to be who you always wanted to be but didn’t know how to be?  Being in my early 20’s has proven harder than I thought.  A lot has happened in the last 5 years and I’m a thinker.  I mull over in my head what has been and ache for the plan for the future.  There is rarely moments that I live fully in the here and now.  It’s really sad though because you end up missing out on what you do have.
Not to say that every day is this way but most days I’m focused on the past or the future.

Then yesterday happened and I found myself asking how to not stress about the future or go back to the past..I mean how do you really live in this moment?

I thought when I released my white knuckled grip on the future that i’d fall into some sort of mess because I didn’t have control but trusting God is falling into Him. It’s refusing to let the worry of tomorrow invade today.  It’s receiving a phone call from a friend and laughing together and deciding how to decorate your son’s room even with the possibility of leaving in a few months.  And it’s certainly not checking out until the Lord moves you.  Staying fully in the moment is liberating and I never imagined it to be this nice.

He told me that I cared too much what other people thought and he was right.  I always have tried to please everyone and it’s exhausting because you never really can make everyone happy with you.  He described me as a star trying to make myself a circle to fit with the circles and that’s never going to work.  Talking in shapes made sense for some reason and I wanted to hug him for a long time but he had to go away again.

Yesterday I shrugged off these heavy weights on my back.  I said no more to trying to please everyone in order for them to like me.  I hope this is what finding yourself in Christ looks like and I believe this is the freedom people talk about that love God.  It’s the grace to fall short but the wisdom to throw off anything that hinders you from Christ.  

I wanted the plan for what’s happening this summer.  Is he deploying, are we moving again, and it felt like chasing the wind.  He said you are here and I call you to be all here.  I’m planting roots and i’m not losing more time dwelling on the past or sweating over the future.  It will be as God has planned and I will do my very best to soak up the moments today for His glory and my joy.

This is the secret to contentment with the future:

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

That little boy of mine is waking up soon and I’d better grab him and hold him tight because these moments don’t keep as long as I’d like them to.

Until next time,

Laura