Can you believe this!?
We are celebrating these days. That God would work this out, in His time, has me completely in awe.
I have waited for years.
I started to believe we weren’t going to have another child. When I could no longer ask God for another baby others did it for me. Thank you.
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I have this sweet moment with God that I can’t help but share.
After losing a baby this year I walked through what was the darkest valley at any point in my life. The kind of hurt that I couldn’t get over and my feelings were really hurt that God would allow that kind of suffering. I stood in confusion for longer than I care to admit. Who was God when He wasn’t giving good things? I didn’t want to look to my God and praise Him only during times of abundance. I began to willfully believe the things I knew true of God and it started to seal the cracks within.
Learning I was pregnant again had me in complete disbelief.
I was nervous about losing this baby too.
Finally the day arrived for me to have an ultra-sound. It was raining hard and on that drive to the doctor’s office I spoke aloud to the Lord. Saying that if I was met with heartbreaking news about this baby that I still trusted Him.
Then in such clarity that cut me off mid sentence this phrase started to run through my mind over and over.
Laura, though you can’t see me, I see you.
I see you.
Then I remembered that is a name for God, given by Hagar.
El Roi. The God who sees.
She [Hagar] gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13 (NIV)
I loved that moment. I’m so glad it’s true. It was this declaration of His love for me. That through any of my pain He hadn’t quit loving me. I am His child and the pain I felt He felt more. There is such freedom in knowing who you belong to.
These months I have spent looking hard for God and there was something so sweet about His reminder that He sees me.
I have never loved God more than I do today. He has become more dear to me.
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During the beginning of this pregnancy I was dealing with morning sickness pretty bad. However, I was well taken care of! My oldest sister watched Garrett one week when I was at my worst and that was such a gift! I also had a friend who brought over some great remedies for morning sickness like chocolate shakes, yes it hit the spot! That evening I was supposed to pick up Darren from the airport and her husband stepped right in to go. They wouldn’t even hear of me doing that. I cry over that one because it’s loving others in the way Jesus calls us to.
The next sweetest thing has been the amount of people who have celebrated with me. I can’t begin to tell you what this has been like. Thank you for entering into this joy with our family! 
I’m feeling better these days. Naps are wonderful, I discovered some root beer is caffeine free! Coffee and I on a break because the thought of it makes me ill. How can this be!? I’m at odds with a lot of food and drinks these days but i’m alright with that for a time.
Last weekend I found this adorable little thing. It makes me happy to see it sitting on our desk.
I’m in the stage of pregnancy where my belly just looks like I ate too much. 
If this post didn’t make sense we can blame it on extreme tiredness! For real. I kept reading over my sweet God moment and wondering if that is going to make any sense to you. I pray it will mean something to someone!
Don’t want to take up any more of your time but I hope you are doing well!
Will you write to me somewhere in the comments and tell me something great about your summer?
Until next time,
Laura
Well, dear Laura, it is good to see you back. I’ve missed your blogs, I’ve missed seeing you on FB, but most of all, I knew you were struggling and I’ve been praying for you. God touched you right when you needed it. Doesn’t get better than that, does it?
My summer…well, there was my stint at Culver Military Academy Summer Camps. I taught voice and supervised the computer lab in the evenings. Always a pleasure working with kids from all over the world! Then I had a few weeks before school started, and thinking I would be a sub for another year, I went back to SB schools and took the first day of school for a new music teacher whose paperwork hadn’t been completed before school started. From that came an offer the 2nd day of school to be a para-professional in Special Education for that school. While talking with people from Human Resources, I was offered yet another position as a SpecEd TEACHER in a different building. Students who are in life skills classes.
This is significant because a few years ago, I pondered going for my certificate in SpecEd and changing my focus altogether. After about a day of asking questions and soul searching I gave them a resounding YES and have been having the time of my life ever since! I love those kids….they are unique, they are special, each and every one of them. They love life, they struggle and they come back for more. They are a gift from God to me, and to their families. There are families who don’t exactly see it that way, though, because some of these kids are not exactly treated as well as they deserve to be treated. But let me tell you…hugs, laughter, desk-side chats, walking hand in hand, and little stories are important to these kids. We are slowly working that room around to be just what they need. In time, it will be a fun place for them to walk into each day. I work with 28 kids, 8 who are assigned to me directly. Such an array of personalities!! I have parts of my day that I look forward to,and parts which I don’t so much. But isn’t that normal??
One thing I will tell you is that I know, with no hesitation or doubt, that it was God who placed this opportunity into my hands. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And you KNOW I loved teaching music! But this is so, SO very much more rewarding! I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing, ya know?
All this to say, when God says, “Here ya go…” it’s pretty awe-inspiring!
Gail