I enjoyed 16 sweet months of my husband’s ship being safe while it was being worked on. It meant he was to come home every night except duty nights and we’d have dinner as a family, we could have an argument and let it linger without the fear of him going away the next week. A father-son relationship bloomed from birth to 16 months and that little guy couldn’t get enough of daddy! We didn’t have to expose our little man to much of hardships of navy life for his first 16 months of life. All he has known is a ship safe in port…a family anchored down as one.
But one day recently that anchor was pulled up and one of the three packed his bags and headed back out to sea with a ship that belongs there, protecting our country. I knew it was coming for well over 16 months. But I didn’t know what to expect.
I love my baby beyond words can say. It broke my heart to see him acting out since his daddy left. When we saw him for a day it was bittersweet because reactions came that were unexpected. My husband put on his uniform and our son lost it. I stood there completely lost. I’ve had it together, i assure you there has been moments that is untrue but for the most part i’ve understood and accepted this military lifestyle. But watching your child confused, hurt, and in pain over things they can’t control called life. Well, i’m not ready to be okay about it. I’m still trying to figure this all out, my life feels like someone turned it upside down and shook..emptying all of the strength right out of me and I stand with my cup looking deep at how empty it is all of a sudden.
The point of this blog isn’t to give you a picture of a perfect military wife who has it all together. I’m here to be a friend who says, ‘I don’t have it all together either, and it’s okay’. I don’t know what you’re going through or what is troubling you. I don’t know in what ways satan is trying to rip you to shreds but I do know about having hope in God when times are not pleasant is the one thing we can choose…even when it doesn’t feel good.