A letter to the one 4 years ago who stood in a white dress at the ripe age of 19.

I know what the dating and marriage books told you but don’t expect your marriage to look anything like the picture you’re envisioning.

It’s about to get really hard before it gets better.
He will lose his job but trust that God is in control.
You are going to work at a bank and although you can’t leave you can choose your attitude.
Most days in that first year you’ll wonder if you married the wrong person and wish for something different but STOP and accept that He became the one for you when you said
‘I Do’.

He is not your daddy…He is his own man that God is molding into the man he’d have him be. Be okay with that!


You’ll find yourself sitting on a couch during counseling next to a man you can hardly stand to look at. You’ll threaten to leave when you feel he’s indifferent to you.
He is hurt.
Grab his hand tell him you’re sorry and stop worrying about unmet needs. Get in his corner because he needs you.

You’re his helper.
It’s a God-given role that is important and life will be sweeter the sooner you step into it.

Don’t take marriage too serious everyday.  It’s good to laugh and have light-hearted conversations too!

(I still can’t believe you misspelled your new last name on the marriage certificate)

Don’t dwell on the negative, instead live with a thankful spirit daily.  It’s a choice you’ll be required to make for a joyful marriage.
He isn’t going to be perfect, but neither are you.
Don’t be too prideful that you won’t say sorry first.
Some things should not be said and its wise to learn the difference between living by the flesh or by the spirit.

No matter what you think, he is crazy about you!  Don’t hurt Him with careless words or actions.

Can you believe you’re going to be a military spouse in the second year of marriage? This will both save and place a burden on your marriage.
Learn to bloom where God plants you and don’t be afraid to seek out help when the seas are rough.
And please find a church when you reach Maryland! You need to be in God’s house with His people worshiping him. :)

By year 3 you’ll meet the sweetest little boy.
Your big man will blow you away with how incredible of a dad he is. Soak it in! and give thanks often.

 You will slam the rings down, storm out, kiss goodnight, go for bike rides, share laughs, weep, watch a lot of sports, and fight hard but love even harder.  Don’t walk away from this marriage but hold tight to the truth found in God’s word.
Work on changing you and let God work on Him but always be gracious and quick to forgive.
It’s going to be hard, but there will be a blessing in the end so enjoy the days together, he is God’s gift to you.


and for you dear friend that struggles with wanting to leave you marriage, read this card often as a way of checking yourself.  Emotions and circumstances change but we can fix our minds on truth.

6 thoughts on “Marriage

  1. Megan

    You have such a way with words. thank you for sharing your heart with us on a daily basis. What an amazing woman you are and it is so encouraging to see how you seek God in your life and your relationships.

  2. Angela

    Laura, I am so proud of you each and everyday that you try, and try harder! You are doing a wonderful job, and I will cheer you on every step of the way!

  3. banzey

    Hi Laura.My husband and i have just celebrated our first year wedding anniversary – it’s not been an easy year, certainly not ‘wedded bliss’ (if that even exists?!) and so reading your blog has been a real encouragement..knowing that we’re not the only couple who’ve struggled in our first year.. so, thank you for your beautiful honesty and openess.


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